When Should I Ask Someone to Put in a Good Word for Me?

Applying for jobs can often seem like throwing mud at a wall and hoping something will stick. Especially in the current market, where it’s likely you could be one of hundreds of applicants, so anything that can set you apart should be used to your advantage.

Sometimes, you might know somebody at the company you are applying to. If you have a great rapport with this person, it could be tempting to ask them to put in a good word for you. But when, if ever, is this appropriate?

Leverage existing relationships

Leveraging relationships you have at the company isn’t something you should be afraid of. We all spend a lot of time building our networks, and the connections we’ve made can help us along our career journey in lots of ways. If the person is a professional contact, they could help speak to your performance objectively and provide a de-facto reference for your prospective employer.

Even if they are just a friend, they can still talk about any qualities and experiences you have that are important to the role, and why you make a good fit for the company culture.

Wait until after the interview

In competition for a role, most candidates have just their application form and/or resume to go on, and can’t really be evaluated beyond that at an early stage. So it will be tempting to use your connection to your advantage, especially since any other references won’t be checked until later in the process—but I would advise waiting until after you’ve had a the intial interview with the hiring manager.

To have someone recommend you before the interview stage sends out the wrong signal and can make things feel forced. It could seem as though there isn’t a level playing field when you enter the room, and there could be the concern that you feel entitled and don’t prepare as thoroughly as the other candidates.

Instead, try to establish interest from the hiring manager first. Then use your “inside” reference to strengthen the impression on your behalf, which will be especially helpful if there’s a tough choice between a few candidates following the interview. If you have made a good impression, a recommendation from a connection should reinforce it—not force it beforehand.

If a hiring manager doesn’t like you in the first place—or, more mildly, would prefer to spend their time speaking to other candidates—and a colleague calls them and says you are the best person for the role, this can seem tone-deaf and frustrating. It’s also likely that to avoid the awkward situation of not making you an offer and offending your connection, they’ll prefer not to interview you at all.

Finally, remember that the interview isn’t just there for the hiring manager to decide if they like you. It’s also a way to determine if you are a good fit for the role, if the role is a good fit for you, and how you connect with your prospective manager. The way you get along will likely have nothing to do with your mutual connections, so let this happen naturally and then, if you still want the role, ask to be recommended.